…And I love you for it.
I was talking to a friend the other day about a new journey she is embarking on. As we chatted I could hear a careful restraint in her voice and I knew she was holding back. I knew she was thinking it might all sound a little too…weird.
I hate that we hold ourselves back. Back from the world and more heartbreakingly, from our closest people.
Because it’s not that we’re weird actually, it’s just that we tend to grow up into people who think having interests that veer too far away from the road most travelled is something to hide. Maybe a bit “woo woo” (for the record I’m not a fan of that term).
How boring is that?
Motherhood and especially homeschooling, has put me in the path of so many people I might never have had the chance to walk with before the vulnerability and commonality of childrearing jumbled us together. This is a gift I hold dear. Maybe it’s the writer in me that relishes our differences; I want to know and understand many different lives. I love being surprised by someone’s passions, interests, choices. I love learning about how they got there and trying to unravel the whys at the core.
I want to surround myself with all sorts and I want my kids to absorb this message through osmosis. I want them to live unabashedly authentic lives so long as they are also kind, loving and generous to others as well as themselves while they go about it. I want them to know themselves and know that it is ok to re-meet that self over and over again as they grow up. I want them to know we never stop growing up.
If we shrink away from who we really are, if we hide our dreams and curiosities, if we don’t allow ourselves the grace to dip our toes in because something is too scary and unknown to us, because the people around us might raise an eyebrow, we are cheating ourselves out of our fullest lives. And our littles get the message.
But when we go for it, when we share ourselves, we give everyone around us the permission they’ve possibly been longing for to step more fully into their own lives. We assure our people that they can fully be around us.
So be your weirdest self ok?
Sit on your meditation cushion and wear the japa beads. Believe in GOD. Believe in aliens, go winter camping, study owl pellets, make strange music, listen to top 40, lose days to Dungeons and Dragons, or body painting. Ferment stuff. Homeschool if you feel called to. Don’t if you don’t. Read the tarot, align your chakras. Revere crystals. Read Tolstoy and sultry romances. Run marathons, forage in the forest, break dance, ballet dance, ecstatic dance. Shake it in the kitchen with your kids. Write a book, a comic, a poem. Show it to someone. Master the art of shadow puppets. Knit stuff for your cats.
Bring it all to the table and please, never water yourself down.
In the spirit of sharing our “weird” , check out the oracle card I turned over this morning before posting: